COLLEGE STUDENT COOKBOOK

(dairy-free and *mostly* IBS friendly)

*all butter is vegan butter

1.       PB&J – yup. Probably the tastiest thing here. Although for variety, there’s always peanut butter and honey.

2.       FRIED EGGS – only way I’ll eat ‘em. Heat up some vegan butter and fry those suckers until brown and crispy. Make sure the yolk is cooked all the way. No runny yolks! Place on a slice of bread spread with jam.

3.       RICE-A-RONI – buy a box and follow the recipe. Get your boyfriend to cut the chicken, although if he’s helping you, don’t plan on leftovers.

4.       TUNAFISH WRAPS – tortillas (flour!!), shredded carrots (optional), shredded lettuce (optional), avocado (optional), canned tuna (optional), mayo (optional). Can also be called “tortillas” because dang those are good

5.       JIFFY MUFFINS – dairy free!! I know, right??

6.       APPLES & PB – mix honey and PB and then eat with apples! Or without apples.

7.       OATMEAL – cook with cinnamon, and then after it’s good and mushy, place into bowl and use the pan to cook blueberries with sugar to form syrup. Pour over oatmeal. Never use a microwave.

8.       OREOS – I KNOW!!!!! (also see – wheat thins, nutter butters, teddy grahams, graham crackers, Ritz crackers, etc.)

9.       FROZEN VEGGIES- cook in a microwave and mom can’t nag at you for a whole week!

10.   FRIED RICE – for those of us who need veggies with a soluble fiber. Cook some rice, cook some veggies and scrambled eggs, and combine with soy sauce and salt and pepper.

11.   LENTIL SOUP – cook up onions with veggies, add lentils and water with vegetable stock paste, season and simmer for an hour. Eat with bread or on top of buttered rice. Lasts ages for no cost at all. Seriously, it won’t go away.

12.   LITTERALLY ANY OTHER KIND OF SOUP – buy the canned stuff and heat it up. Although watch out for ingredients. They may be the misery kind of ingredients.

13.   RAW OATMEAL – nature’s pepto. The stuff is magical. You can mix it with water and put it on hives too.

14.   RICE AND BEANS – shout out to Brazil. Beans with onions and garlic and other yummy flavor stuff. Put on top of rice. Invite Brazil-obsessed friends for dinner.  

15.   TOAST – honey with butter, butter with jam, no one’s judging.

16.   RICE CRISPY TREATS – butter, marshmallows, and rice crispies. All cheap knock—off brands. This IS college.

17.   FRENCH TOAST - Get annoyed at your bf’s puppy dog eyes and use the whole dang loaf you bought yesterday. Although totally worth it if you use cinnamon and nutmeg.

18.   APPLE HAND PIES – apple pie filling with realllly small apple bits put in a SWEET pie dough cut into little circles. Egg wash with sugar. Feed to worshiping bf. Mmmmm….

19.   FROZEN BURRITOS – the best thing since sliced bread.

20.   ASPARAGUS – coat in olive oil and season slightly. Roast for 15 minutes in the oven. Do NOT put every seasoning in the kitchen on them.

21.   CHICK-FIL-A – realize you can’t eat fried foods. Be depressed the rest of the day.